06 August 2013

Affection Aversion

I was driving home from visiting a friend.  I was overflowing with the gratitude of having a REAL friend.  I was rejoicing in God's work in her life. I was praying for her needs.  I was seeing her heart and it was encouraging.  My heart was full.

My son wanted a sip of my drink.  I handed him the orange-topped water bottle.  After passing the cup, I began to stroke his bare leg.  [He'd wet through his pants during his nap so he was only in undies and a shirt.  A typical summer day uniform.]  He pulled his leg back.  I followed his movement and continued to let my full heart leak out in loving my son.  He pulled his legs up even further....into his car seat....away from my reach.

It hurt my heart.  My gut reaction was this, "Why does he withdrawal from me when I am trying to love on him?"

Then I went to God.  God makes us all with different affection tolerances.  He happens to have a slight aversion to being cuddles, hugged, loved on.  It pains me sometimes that this is his make up.  

The parallels between God and I are glaring.  

How often does God reach out to love me and I withdrawal?
How often do I refuse love?
How often do I not receive His outpouring?

As a Mom, it breaks my heart to see him not receive my love.  As a Christian, it crushes me to see my refuse my Father.

Q: But how do I learn to receive HIS love?