05 August 2014

Unwanted News

I have recently received some unwanted news.  The kind where you attend the appointment expecting the typical protocol and instead you get concerns and unanswered questions.  You expected what everyone would expect from this meeting, but you are handed news that suddenly sets you apart from everyone else. The results aren't what you want.  The reading isn't clear.  The progress isn't on track. Typical becomes atypical.  Expectations are dashed to pieces.  As you walkout of the office and to your car, sorrow buckles in next to you for the drive home. 

It's a good thing you always keep a box of tissues in the car.  You cry out for help, understanding, and ultimately for rescue.  You believe there is One mighty and great who can eliminate this disaster.  There is a God that can make all things right.  Good wins (eventually) and hearts get mended (in time).  It is to Him you pray, beg, and plead for the circumstances to change.  It is to Him, your friend, that you make your appeal.  

And after your emotions rage, you begin to remember truth, He is sovereign.  He is strong, but He is also working for your whole good.  He can heal, but that may not be in His plan.  He can rescue/deliver, but what would we learn in the process?

As I grieve the unwanted news I try to consistently remember the word "theology".  Theology is what gets you through the hard days.  It's what carries you when your emotions are unsteady and untrustworthy.  It's what you pour into your heart when the waters are calm, knowing you will be surviving on it during the next storm.  

Often theology can be seen as a cheap band-aid placed on a gaping wound.  It can sound so heartless and cold.  It can be a filler when you don't know what to say.  It can be used poorly toward those in tough places.  I used to find it both irritating and incomprehensible.  Often asking, why would people say that?  or this means nothing to me right now!

 But to those who have laid a foundation of proper theology down deep in their hearts, it is life.  There is hope and joy in being pointed toward unwavering truths of who God is and what He promises His children.  It is like a familiar sweatshirt or blanket.  It didn't used to be.  But I have been changed.  Now when I am redirected, even in grief, back to truth, now it comforts my heart and brings peace.

Unwanted news is still unwanted.  But I can see now that I am able to (eventually + slowly) take it in and balance it's heaviness with the weight of His glory and the ease of His yoke.  

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